Awww! ((smily)) That is a dilemma I've not been in, except with my sister in High School. She vacillated between being my sister and being a JW. Ultimately, she chose being a JW. I am so sorry to hear you're having to deal with that kind of on-again,off-again love. It is very painful, but you will get through this. We are here for you. Welcome to the board. There are many here who've been exactly where you are and who've managed to keep a decent relationship with a JW, despite the difficulties. I hope you can work out your happiness. We are here for you, whatever happens with this person. Hugs. I wish I could give you comfort, but I really don't know what to say, although I do understand feeling "lost." This too shall pass.
Madame Quixote
JoinedPosts by Madame Quixote
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18
Help He has been reinstated and Iam lost!
by smily inhe has been reinstated and only just told me because he felt i could not understand!
he says he is living 2 lives, 1 with me and his non witness friends and 1 with his jw's.
he says he loves me but i dont understand?
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Okay, here's my story.
by sundawn77 inhey all.. first of all i want to say that i am really impressed by the warm atmosphere that this board provides.
i remember when i was little and we learned about non-witnesses, and they were portrayed as children-eating, blood-drinking criminals.
okay, i exaggerate, but the connotations were there!.
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Madame Quixote
(((Sundawn))) - Welcome to this community and thanx for sharing your story. I am terribly sorry for your humiliation by the stupid elders. (Like someone else told me last year, someday, someone is going to take those guys and give them what they deserve - a big hosing with silly string. They're such frigging voyeurs, aren't they?) I'm also sorrier about the situation with your parents. It always hurts to be treated like that, but keeping a good deal of distance from them, after a while, I have found, helps to ease the pain. The more I try to be close to my JW family, or to please or appease them, the more unhappy I am; that's because they are sick and because their sickness helps me to become sicker, too. Staying away and accepting that it is healthier for me has been the best course of action, for me. I am not subjected to their degrading ideas, opinions, superstition, mistrust, denial, and unsupportiveness if I stay away. After all, that's what they want me to do, so as not to contaminate them with healthier ideas which create cognitive dissonance (=pain) for them. Believe me, I've tried to be around them, hoping they'd change and accept me and love me as I am. But as long as the WTBTS has a stranglehold on them, they will be incapable of that. Maybe your parents are the exception, but based on what you've said, I feel doubt that you will be able to change them, no matter what you achieve in "the world," because they view "the world" (what's outside the bOrg) as a "sinking ship." I'm sure you've heard that analogy among the JWs before. And in their minds you're on that "sinking ship." But all of us here realize the opposite is true. The WBTS is a sinking ship, as it should be. Maybe you will be able to be there for them when they finally realize that ironic fact; until then, we are here for you. YOU should be proud of YOU! And of your accomplishments. I hope and trust that you are! Hugs to you!
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What scary stories were you told?
by sundawn77 ini'm new here; i "faded away" 3 years ago.
i'll tell my story soon when it's not so hard to think about.. i'm just wondering what stories other people were told about demons that ensured that nobody watched scary movies or listened to certain music (in my case, stevie nicks, go figure).
elders and my friends' parents, and other kids in the congregation all had stories of people watching movies and waking up to see a demon in their room!
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Madame Quixote
There is no end to the stupid demon-haunted-world stories these people have to tell. I remember being scared out of accepting gifts from "worldly" people because of stories like the one about a woman who accepted a ring from "someone worldly," later assumed to be "demoninzed." Well, apparently she had more than one demon attached to her, because, as the story goes, the JW who accepted the ring became "possessed" and was instructed to throw it off a bridge by the Elders, who should have just dropped the woman off at the local Psych Ward. Supposedly, they all heard the ring screaming as it was thrown off. They should have all gone to the Psych Ward. I used to have recurrent nightmares about being chased by (presumably) the horses belonging to the horsemen of the Apocalypse because of those scary Watchtower and Awake pictures and articles. Strange thing though, there were no horsemen, just horses, and it was always in some kind of underground tunnel. I was terrified easily as a kid and believed all that crap; I used to sleep with my head under the covers and had terrible insomnia and anxiety and wet the bed until I was 14 or 15 (and of course I was ashamed of that, too)! I don't know if the JWs caused anxiety, or just exacerbated it. I do know they did not help me to relax and feel safe, never, ever. It's awful to frighten children like that. When my daughter was really little, when I used to allow her to visit my parents, my dad decided to ruin her little unicorn toys by breaking off their horns because he thought they might be dangerous. It really upset her to have her toys ruined like that and it upset me because I believe very strongly in respecting childrens' rights to their own things, space and in giving them as much autonomy as is safely possible. That was one of the straws that began to break the camels back, as far as my daughter going to visit my parents. It only got worse after that, in many ways with both my parents. They're such destructive hypocrites, full of superstition while criticizing and accusing everyone else of it.
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Birthday Pty w./DEVILS food cake, toasting, late night forays . . .
by Madame Quixote ini completely forgot that no one in my family was there for my daughter's birthday party because it was so busy and fun.
we ate at a very nice local thai-viet - namese restaurant at noon.
some of my daughter's friends had never tried such food and seemed a bit iffy about it, but they all said they really liked it.
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Madame Quixote
I completely forgot that no one in my family was there for my daughter's birthday party because it was so busy and fun. We ate at a very nice local Thai-Viet - Namese restaurant at noon. Some of my daughter's friends had never tried such food and seemed a bit iffy about it, but they all said they really liked it. One of the pickier girls even had calamari! I had pad thai with squid. It was absolutely delish! The food and service was great, as usual. The manager kindly let us bring in a birthday cake - ( a lovely chocolate DEVILS' food layer cake with cream cheese frosting, yummmy). And he let us bring our own bubbly cider and provided champagne glasses for us to toast my daughter's 19th birthday. Then we all went to see this adorable movie, "Happy Feet," which some of us were pleasnatly surprised to find we actually did enjoy. Daughter chose the movie, since she's the birthday girl. Some of us did not expect to like it, but we all loved it. One of her birthday gifts was a beautiful 2-ft tall Emperor penguin. Her boyfriend got her a lovely silver bracelet that brings to mind some of the sculpture of Machu Pichu (can't get more pagan than that, huh?). They left a little while ago to go watch anime shows at her friend's. Later tonight, around 11:00 daughter and boyfriend are going to top off the day by going to the beach and watching the meteor showers until 2:00 a.m. Uh huh. Hope they enjoy themselves. I feel very happy for them.
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I can't be proud of my kids!
by WANTMOMBACK intoday i went to my daughter's school and they sang "america the beautiful" and i videoed her.
i do have a question though!!
how do most people explain to their children about why grandma and grandpa never come to their birthday party or any holiday function?
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Madame Quixote
Yes, you can be proud of your kids. Your mom has the problem accepting reality, not you. I have been there, done that, and I agree with folks who suggest telling your kids the truth, matter-of-factly, with as little judgment as you can. For providing a religious background for my daughter, I joined the Unitarian Universalist Church and enrolled my daughter in the Religious Education program, even though I'm an atheist. It's usually free, but they do like for parents to contribute in some ways, if possible (as with most such programs). I have never regretted doing it and didn't do it religiously; I just knew that when I felt like going to church and spending a little time with some very nice people, my daughter would be learning a little about our cultural history from some relatively balanced and caring folks, in an age-appropriate, non-judgmental setting (so completely different from what I was raised with at the Kingdom Hell). I also made sure that people from the church understood that UUism was my best antidote to JWism. (In fact, it is at the complete and absolute opposite end of the religious spectrum from the JWs). I was glad to see that everyone I encountered was able to understand and fully supported me and understood my motivation without question or judgement or preaching. If you enroll your kids in any kind of RE program at any church, it is probably a good idea to inform the teachers there of your situation; they too may have gentle ideas for handling and explaining things you want your kids to understand. I think it is also important you know they are not badmouthing your mother or her religion to the kids. Good luck with your endeavours!
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The REAL problem with Holloween....
by kerj2leev inis all the dam candy that is left.....i just can't stop!!
!.
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Madame Quixote
Yep, me too. I just began eating the left-over candy corn last night. Gawd, that stuff is gross, but I love it. If it has sugar, it's all good. Love Halloweeny, I do, I do.
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For what purpose did Brooklyn Bethel keep records of accussed pedophiles?
by Gill ini was wondering this, as i remember that leo greenlees was just moved to another congregation and that was all.. so why keep records if they weren't going to use them?.
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Madame Quixote
Oh, I see, so you're saying that the accusations must be made 70 times 7 times, and then the WBTS pulls the abuse records and does something about the abuser? Sounds pretty Biblical to me.
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UN Asked to Recognise Jedi Knights as Official Religion
by Clam intwo self-styled jedi knights are stepping up an intergalactic campaign for formal recognition.
umada and yunyun, also known as john wilkinson and charlotte law, want the un to acknowledge "the force" is worthy of being called a religion.
the couple claim to be part of the uk's fourth largest religious group, after 400,000 people recorded their faith as "jedi" in the 2001 census.. full story link: .
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Madame Quixote
Actually, I thought exactly the opposite in regard to Flying Spaghetti Monster; if Jedis are recognized, why not FSM? I'm definitely a worshipper of FSM, aren't you? Heh heh heh heh. I think it would be great fun if the UN starts recognizing every half-baked religious group that comes along, the way they let the JWs in; it would only help to promote atheisim, which really does make more sense than religiosity. All religion is pretty much a fantasy-turned-institution, anyway. Why not recognize that by recognizing the Jedi Knights as just another religion, (which is exactly what it is)?
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19th Birthday Party
by Madame Quixote inmy daughter will be turning 19 on the 24th.
this weekend we're having a dinner party for her at indochine restaurant and then taking her guests to the movies.
i am so pleased that i am able to do this without one iota of fear or guilt like the jws wish they could still impose on us.
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Madame Quixote
Thanks every one. Happy 60th Birthday! I am so pleased to hear this. We need to start a thread for your 60th Birthday Online Partay! One of my daughter's teachers calls her "the happiest Goth" he ever met. She's into Goth style, but definitely does not have a dark (goth) personality. She's usually very bubbly and kinda' silly most of the time.
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For what purpose did Brooklyn Bethel keep records of accussed pedophiles?
by Gill ini was wondering this, as i remember that leo greenlees was just moved to another congregation and that was all.. so why keep records if they weren't going to use them?.
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Madame Quixote
They keep the records for numerous reasons: 1. They're proud of their bureaucracy, organization, and "accomplishments,"(like the Nazis were); 2. Marking, (as in the Scarlet Letter, whether the allegations are true or not); 3. Blackmail of all involved, including the victims for the purpose of 4. Controlling information to protect the bureaucracy of the Watchtower Society,and quite possibly for 5. CYA (Cover Your A$$), (which has apparently backfired, and for good reason, as is the case with the recent California ruling against the JWs, in favor of plaintiffs seeking the records regarding abuse). Thank goodness for the "Peter Principle" as far as the WTBTS bureaucracy is concerned. Also, maybe they try to be careful about not alienating rich pedophiles (and/or their friends) in the organization for fear of losing the almighty dollars they provide.